When is it Boundary Setting and When is it Giving Up? 100/100: Day 3

  I have someone in my life who I love deeply.  They are struggling, physically and emotionally, but are closed off.  They aren't taking care of themself and they are refusing help that challenges them to get the resources they need in order to thrive.

  I'm terrible at conflict, I want everyone to be happy, and I don't like to make a fuss.  The problem is, my not engaging in conflict feels like I'm enabling.  I live away from this person and feel guilt for not being there.  The truth is, even if I was next to this person, the situation would be the same.  Maybe not.

  When talking to a counselor, she reminded me that I can't help anyone who doesn't want help, they have to want to change.  Intellectually I understand this but it feels too difficult to stop trying.  It feels like I'm giving up.  I'm scared to speak up during moments when I get hurt by this person, I don't want to upset them, they have so much going on, but ignoring it isn't the healthy option either.

  It's a see-saw, or maybe a scale that you're always trying to even out, make things fair.  At some point, you realize it might not balance out and you are left looking at a broken scale, unsure if it can be fixed.  That's the worst feeling.


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